RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH VOL. 1 - (2012)

Directed by :

Lloyd Kaufman

Written by:

Travis Campbell

Casey Clapp

Derek Dressler

Aaron Hamel

Lloyd Kaufman

TMP RATING: 3/5

REVIEW: ***MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS***

Return to the Class of Nuke 'Em High follows a young couple that are up against the school glee club. Unfortunately, the glee club has mutated into a gang called The Cretins. When the other students begin to undergo mutations, our couple must solve the mystery and save Tromaville High School.

As with every Troma film ever made, it's the opening scene that truly sets the tone. A young couple in a car are fucking, and something drip radioactive goo on them. The guy takes the thing up the ass, and proceeds to cum blood and goo all over the girl; until she melts into a big bloody, cum pile. We are definitely back in the world of Troma...oh how I've missed you.

Now, if this opening isn't enough of a warning to you...this film isn't for the faint of heart...and will most likely offend everyone who see it. Every single politically incorrect thing in the world is in this movie; from racism, homophobia, and yes it is misogynistic. And let's not leave religion out of this...this movie does on religion, what the guy does to the girl in the opening scene. But if you are reading this review, you must be familiar with Troma, and this will more than likely be exactly what you are wanting to see.

The one thing that I was really worried about when I saw this film, was honestly about the new viewers. Not many people know of the original film series, unless you are in touch with the low-budget horror world. But I'm pleased to say that you don't need to know a single thing about the first one to enjoy this film. Because the film with give you everything you need to know in the first 5 minutes...by a surprise cameo by Stan Lee (damn that man is looking bad). What I really love about this introduction is that it practically skips over the second and third film, which are total garbage...so at least they know it. I know this is called Return the Nuke 'Em High, and it has the recap...but this film does what I was hoping it would do...and this is, feel more like a reboot, as opposed to a tired sequel. And I am one (as you know) that hates reboots/remakes...but that is the only way I figured this film would work.

This time around, the nuclear power plant is no more...instead it is an organic food company...which I thought was priceless. This food is brought to the high school, in the form of Tact Tuesday, and the glee club eats them, and turn into the dreaded Cretins. Like the original, they are a gang of mutated punks who want nothing more than to cause havoc upon all the citizens of Tromaville. Lauren is a rich, new girl, who has a pet duck, and she gets off on the wrong foot with the other female lead, Chrissy. She is the blogger who is trying to take down the food corporation. Of course along the way, after a little bit of duck rape...fuckin' hilarious sequence...the two become friends, fuck buddies, and eventually team together to STOP THE CRETINS (strike superhero pose here).

Obviously this film has the Vol. 1, this is the first of two films. If you believe wikipedia or other non-credible sites, Tarantino told them to make it into two movies. I feel that where this film ends it's a very good spot. I think they could've tied up a few more loose ends, and had a better set up for the second volume. This was a terrible way to end the film in my opinion.

Kudos to Paredes and Corcoran, who are put through the ringer without ever faltering. Both are relative unknowns, but their performances show promise for films that don’t necessarily involve giant genitalia and lengthy lesbian scenes. In addition to Lee, the film features fun, if superfluous, cameos by Motorhead frontman Lemmy Kilmister (as the president!), 30 Rock comedian Judah Friedlander, Crank co-director Mark Neveldine, scream queen Debbie Rochon, Oddities stars Mike Zohn and Evan Michelson, and Kaufman himself.

I am very curious to see the second volume of this film...because I really want to see where it goes. As much as I did enjoy this film, I was hoping for maybe slightly more. The funny parts were funny...but I was hoping for something overly more enjoyable, much like the previous Troma film, Poultrygeist. This movie is funnier than Poultrygeist, but the overall movie just didn't seem as good. I just truly hope that this film doesn't suffer from two parts. Because I have this bad gut feeling that they could have cut out a ton of bullshit, and made this a single film. But we will have to wait and see.

The biggest shock I had with this movie, was when the film started, and I saw the Anchor Bay logo. This is the first Troma film I have ever seen, that wasn't distributed by themselves. From what I hear, Lloyd Kaufman sold the remake rights to The Toxic Avenge for a couple million dollars. So they were able to throw a little more more at this, and were able to get a few backers to help them out. It was different to see...but I do hope it works out for them in the long run.

Like I said in the opening...you really have to have an open mind with this movie...because it will offend just about everybody. That being said...it was very cool to see Troma returning to there roots. I recommend this film to the adventurous viewers out there. If you find giant penis monsters funny...you will love this movie. You might want to test the waters with the Toxic Avenger, or some of the later films, Terror Firmer or Poultrygeist...that will at least give you a good idea of what this film would be like.

Till Next Time Kiddies...

-RJ