AS ABOVE, SO BELOW - (2014)

Directed by :

John Erick Dowdle

Written by:

Drew Dowdle

John Erick Dowdle

MPAA:

Rated R for bloody violence/terror, and language throughout

When it comes to the world of “over done” horror films...the found-footage sub-genre reigns supreme...as well as demands slightly different things from the viewers. Where all horror movies requires some form of suspension of disbelief...found-footage needs this more so...because unless you are a total idiot...no one actually believes they are watching real footage. Blair Witch I will give you...but that is the only one. And this time around, we don't get a great witch back story...nor do we get to see a Godzilla style monster destroying a city...but I think viewers of this film put up with the bouncy camera and fuzzy shots...just to make themselves feel like they are watching those movies. This genre sets a low bar on all fronts...so not being able to at least meet that bar...is a slap in the face to everyone you bought a ticket.

As Above, So Below...the title itself tells you all that you need to know. This is a film that wastes the viewers time, and takes an actual promising premise...and turns it into a fuckin' laugh riot. And not in a good way. And why am I really not all that surprised. Because this film was done by the people that gave us Quarantine. And that movie was horrible. And I have to give them some credit...they have one hell of a sales pitch. I read an article, and it said that this movie was pitched as this...The Blair Witch Project with Indiana Jones...throw in a little of The Da Vinci Code...and add a touch of Insidious on for flavor...and just for shits and giggles...we'll set it in the Paris Catacombs.

In all honesty...who wouldn't by into a concept like that. Nobody in Hollywood likes original ideas...so why not take a little bit from a bunch of films that were success, throw them in a blender and spoon feed it to the audiences. Because, I have to be honest...the movie interested me from the plot synopsis and the trailers. But the movie let me down, like an ex-girlfriend who calls just to let you know how great her life now is.

The “Indiana Jones” of this film, comes in the form of Scarlett Marlowe. She is an archaeologist who is way into herself...and wants nothing more than to finish her father's work, in finding the Philosopher's Stone...not the Sorcerer's Stone...but it's the same fuckin' thing. A lead she finds in Iran, takes her to Paris...where she believes the stone to be buried with Nicolas Flamel....the Harry Potter references just keep coming...one more item for the “blockbuster blender”. However, to get to his tomb...it requires descending into the dark, decaying depths of the catacombs....The Descent anyone...ok, that is the last time I'll make a reference to another movie that is better than this one...probably.

And like with every other found footage film...the “adventurer” needs to have a group that follows her. In this case it is the cameraman, a graffiti artist who knows his way around the catacombs, who brings along a few more of his buddies just to round things out...and a friend of Scarlett's who is brought along as a translator...even though he is kind of tricked into going into the catacombs. To put it simply...they acquire a decent sized group, just for the purposes of killing them off slowly. And slowly is definitely the way to put it.

When they go into the tunnels...they reach the proverbial “fork in the road”, and Scarlett wants to take the shorter route...but the catacomb masters believe it to be haunted, and will not step into that tunnel. So they decide to go out of their way and take the longer route through a separate series of tunnels, and “shocker” to me...they end up back where they started...and have to go through the tunnel they avoided going through in the first place.

And yes...of course the passage way turns out to be evil...again, no big shocker there. But who could know this tunnel was so evil, that it would lead this group of idiots straight to the gates of hell. So if you are one who is looking to see something new and original in the found footage genre...I guess that would qualify...because I haven't seen that before...even though from the trailers, I saw that shit coming from a mile away. But i'm just splitting hairs at this point.

So, that is the one thing I will say nice about this film. The filmmakers don't lack in originality...aside the fact that Quarantine was a remake...but this film threw new stuff at us, that from what I've seen...many viewers weren't expecting to happen. But like with so many of their other films...with so much originality, and good things going for it...everything else about the film finishes it's flushing motion down the toilet bowl.

As is the story with so many films that I have high hopes for...this one just takes them and stomps on them unmercifully. Even with all that it had going right for it...like I said, it is inexcusable, and I cannot get past them. This movie is not only a colossal waste of your time...it is also a waste of your braincells. Viewers are far to intelligent for this film...well, I can't go that far...history shows us that many people are fuckin' morons, so this might be right up their alley. But for the rest of you...save yourself the money...and save yourself a massive headache, and avoid this film like the fuckin' plague. You will thank me later. There is nothing here that will appease that movie going experience everyone is looking for...so please STAY THE FUCK AWAY. Like the catacombs say to do.

Till Next Time Kiddies...

-RJ